i. do. not. want. to. go.

please shoot me.

this is my mother's reunion, not mine.

arrgh!

i'm supposed to call mo sometime...but i'll be gone all weekend...fuck this sucks.

and there are two shows tonight i want to go to. raar!

so i spent four hours today hanging out with mo in santa cruz. she's seventeen and a half...going to be a senior...and gay...and really cute...and knows all the santa cruz street kids...and reminds me of autry a lot sometimes.

i showed up downtown around 1045, wandered around and talked to the bums and picked up job apps int wo places even though i know it's silly to get a job in santa cruz, and at one mo was supposed to whow up and i was sitting on a curb across the street from the cinema nine looking for her...and then i saw her walking down the street with her board. hehehe. she took me out to lunch at saturn and it was really yummy and then we went and climbed a tree and then walked down to the boardwalk and she bummed a cigarette off a guy and we walked along the boardwalk and sat down at a table and talked about how everyone at the boardwalk is fucking the same...and stared at people for fun...and then i gave her a back massage and she gave me one and damn girl i think that's the best back massage i've ever had...maybe it's partially that i've needed it for three months now. but no, she's really good at giving massages. ahhhhhhhhh. and then she said 'this would be easier with no shirt and some oil' and i cracked up and said 'no shirt i can do, but i don't have any oil.' and we sat around on the railing until some security guard yelled at us to get off it then we went back downtown and ran into some of her street kid friends and said hi and then we ran into kachina who was also at the show and started talking to her and it turns out she and mo actually got to talk to clea duvall in saturn after the show and they got autographs. oh and before we ran into kachina we stopped at saturn to pee and get some water and mo bought me a sticker...kinda as a memento or something...and it was all cool. but yeah anyway they both met clea duvall. so we went over to pergs and got soem more water and sat around talking about cats and monty python and kachina is really really cool...and some chick that mo met at pride wandered by so we grabbed her and talked to her for a few minutes...and i'm really fed up with my hair and i want to chop it all off but i can't until after the fourth. dammit dammit dammit. i'm losing my train of thought. oh yeah. pergs. mo. kachina. it was 415 and i had to leave at 430 so we went back to pacific and ran into more street kids and sat in the edge of a planter by the cinema nine and mo was being all crazy and pretending to punch kachina and she was saying 'yeah, i never hit girly girls...i just don't...see i wouldn't hit you...' but apparently i'm butch enough to fight with cuz she punched me and i punched her back and we got into this crazyass fight right there on pacific and we were punching each other and laughing our ases off and scaring all the pedestrians and kachina was just kinda laughing at us...so there we are all fighting and shit and it was really fun cuz fighting kinda involves getting really close sometimes...it was hella fun. did i just say hella? shoot me please. anyway yah. i'm probably all bruised and shit. and kachina was laughing about how i kicked mo's ass and mo was making all these excuses...like she let me win, she smokes, blah blah blah...it was really funny. she buff in a really cute way. oh and i beat her thumbwrestling at the boardwalk. ::grin::. anyway...the three of us crammed back onto our planter edge and mo started joking around about how she looked like such a pimp cuz she was in the middle and we all laughed and she yelled 'two dollars!' and kachina and i both punched her. so then it was two hundred, then two thousand, then she decided she got fifty percent and then she went off to try jacking a soda from somewhere. so kachina and i were sitting there and talking about mo's bewing a bad child who steals shit and we decided we should have her dress in drag, seduse a teller, and rob a bank. and then she could be our pimp. so we're sitting around cracking up and mo comes back with some water and we tell her our plan and i don't thing she thought it was the greatest idea...it was still really funny though. and we talked about the tranny boy kachina slept with last night and my sister called and it was weird...then my mom called...then we sat around and talked some more and i bit mo and she decided i was mean...in a really funny way...and kit and mom walked up and i introduced them and hugged mo and kachia goodbye and as i was walking away mo gave me the little 'call me' sign and i mouthed 'okay' so i'm gonna call her sometime. and we'll hang out again. and maybe this time i'll get kisses.

and her real name is stephanie.

haha today kicks arse, by the way. it's been the greatest ever. besides a few hours of annoying old people. autry might be coming down! and she'd be here on my birthday, and mom said she could stay with me and i'm all excited and shit cuz i really miss her and of course it would be today and i'm really happy because everything's going right and mom said she'd drive me and autry over to santa cruz one day. squeeeeeeeeee!!!

yeah man...my life is going right. fuck yeah.

duuuuuuuude!! mo just called me! with any luck i'm gonna hang out with her tomorrow..and that was her idea, not mine. i'm so happy. and we actualy found stuff to talk about for a few minutes. hurrah hurrah.

so tomorrow i was going to santa cruz with my mum cuz there's some volunteer party after work...but that means i have nothing to do until the party and i'll be over there al day...so mo and i are hanging out. with any luck. i have to talk to my mum. but..but...i think this is so not one-sided...oh my god weeeeeeee...somebody hand me a chill pill cuz i'm high as a fucking kite...

raar! mo is cool!
:dances::

dude...first of all the party kicked arse. we prank called frenchy...it was the funnies thing ever.
frenchy: helo
alana:love is like the wind. i can't see it, but i can feel it. hello, evan gurney, i like older men too
frenchy: what the...
[click]
and we cracked up...it was so great. he called back like two hours later when rekha and caddie and kylie and sarahand i were playing cards...he sounded really confused...it was SO fucking hilarious.

and at three am we got bored and snuck out to denny's. fries and a banana split and one pancake. and there was this guy who kept staring at us...of course that could have been because kylie was wearing my long flowy formal dress cuz she didn't have any underwear. kylie should never ever be allowed near an ipod again. ever. you agree, cads?

anmd we played truth or truth...no dares...and ten fingers. and didn't sleep for a long time.

mo called me!! last night some time...my mum left a message saying she'd called. so i have her number now. and i called her back...but i got her answering machine...arrrrgh we're playing phone tag! but...she has a really cute voice...hehehe.

everything i know about mo:
-she has a red mohawk
-and a skateboard
-she's probably my age, since terra knows her
-she lives in santa cruz
-the number i have is her cell phone
-she called me the day after the show. yay!

i still can't believe i was so unshy at the show. well unshy to everyone but clea duvall. but i mean come on, it's clea duvall. it's a little harder to say random shit to her.

mo is cute...hurrah hurrah.

::dances::

and she frickin called me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the day after i gave her my number. she is officialy cool.

lessee...tonight was so fucking crazy...one hour ago i was walking out of the rio theater after seeing le tigre live. but that's not really the exciting part.

i swear i'm dreaming.

clea duvall was at the show. no joke. it was so crazy..ehehe...i've been withing a foot of her..so much fun.

the tribe 8 singer ended up almost naked onstage. blowjob! craaaaaazy set.

i ended up three people back from the stage when le tigre was playing...danced the whole time behind/next to/with this really cute girl named mo...she has a red mohawk...sooooo fucking cute...and after the show i walked up to her and gave her my number...i swear someone else was in control tonight. normally i'm too shy to do any of this.

started a mosh pit with the tribe 8 singer. hehe that was fun.

ran into my elementary school best friend...it's weird, all these people are popping back into my life. but anyway, i'm supposed to call her sometime. time to rebuild some bridges?

and terra (said best friend) knows mo. from way back somewhere. life is loony.

um um um...what else...such a fucking good night. yay! soooooo hyper.

will i sleep tonight? noooooooooo...too much energy...i been jumping up and down and spinning around going yay! show fun!

sarah you kick ass. and are sitting right behind me. hurrah. (sorry my mum wandered out without any clothes on).

lesson of the night: my mum is dumb.

other lesson of the night: i live in my head too much. night like tonight show me that...i need to stop being so shy...cuz the pretty girls are there...i just need to actually pay attention to what's going on.

(sarah: find sarah a boyfriend)

sarah, if i knew any boys you could have them.

volunteers?

hehehehehehehehehehe me so hyper. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

um what else....

maybe that's it.

i should stop writing.

but i don't feel like it.

blah...

someone pinch me i'm dreaming.

thanks sarah.

reasons i think i'm dreaming:
1. i just saw le tigre live
2. i just gave a hot girl my number
3. clea duvall was at the show
4. terra was too
5. my life is just too weird
6. is this my life?
7. why don't i go to more shows?

okay so the last couple aren't reasons. bite me.

i'm going now.

good night.

I SAW CLEA DUVALL.

really good night now.

i swear.

sarah says: liar.

no really!

good night. so there.

and i got pretty tara kisses. no lip contact but it was fun.

yesterday:

1. what warren want for his birthday: for tara to make out with me

2. why? because i am the one girl she would seriously consider making out with

...as found out from tara.

ehehehehe.