today's rain song:
how long can we stand here
in the middle of this hill
in limbo
before our feet start to slip
i mean
what if it rains
and the ground washes away
from beneath us

songs that mention rain: passage of time, share, both hands, deep dish, unsolicited advice, true believer (you were right car3y), cry, this time, clothespin, midnight radio, clothesline. more to come as i continue searching through my music. and in case anyone reads this before tomorow, bring music to tech call.

i can't get the technology to work that is supposed to be allowing me to do this project tonight, so i might as well blog instead, right? (please don't point out flaws in my logic, it's much too early for that).

so. there's something that's been on my mind all day. well, really, since period one long. because something i read got me thinking, and reminded me of something really random in rehearsal yesterday that confused me greatly and something i'd been wondering about for a couple of weeks...it all came together today and left me lost in confusion. so i resort to music to explain myself.

honey i want to know where you are tonight
and why you aren't here holding me tight
yeah i know that we're just friends
but i feel like maybe it's time to tie up some understandings
tie up some loose ends
cuz some people hide in a smile or a handshake
some hide in an embrace
and maybe i'm too trusting maybe i'm naive
but i thought i saw myself reflected in your face

i think you know who you are. and the one question that i mentioned earlier, the one that i was too scared of the answer, i think i'm going to go ahead and ask it. if you still like me, email me. please. because we're getting nowhere and i think we need to talk. somehow i feel like you're avoiding me even though i'm pretty sure that's not the case, but i really don't care if it is. that's not the point of this. i just want to know the truth, as it currently stands, because maybe that can help sort this whole thing out.

and i don't even know if you still read this, but i'm willing to take a chance. and yes, maybe i'm too much of a coward to ask you to your face, or even more personally, but i guess part of this is to see how much you know, whether you can figure out this is you.

::sigh:: do i make sense to anyone? anyone?

i thought not.

i blew a whole fucking three day weekend and i don't even know where the hell it went.

today felt really long. i look back at conversations i had a few hours ago and think wait, didn't that happen yesterday? only it didn't. i feel like i'm moving at tops speed and all around me time has slowed down. and it doesn't feel like midnight. it really doesn't.

i got nothing done. damn.

can't sleep mice will eat me man i'm so psychotic i don't need drugs to get high i'm higher than a kite much much higher than at the ani cancert when i was breathing second-hand pot smoke...micemicemicemicemicemicemicemice are coming to get me and the penguins are hiding in their trunks. i have penguins in my head and they are hidind from the mice. cowardly penguins! ::boingy:: mrrrow purrrrrrrr can't sleep mice will eat me. my penguins are scared. 'she had heard the average human only used one tenth of their brain capacity and no one quite knew what the other 9/10 were for, but she had never heard it speculated that they were used for storing penguins...' somebody spiked my air ouch. that can't be good for the rest of us. hehehehehhe penguins! hiding in trunks oh no. hiding from evil little micemicemicemice coming to get me. someone did spike your air. the mice are sabotaging my brain circuits. wilt thou come a-carolling with me on my birthday? i can only imagine... penguins penguins penguins did you just ask me to go carolling with you on your bday?????? or was that part of explaining what the penguins thing was from there aren't nearly enough birthday carols yea...are there ANY??? so we are going to invent some and run around singing them we must be creative here I've got a penguin friend at my work his names Mort why did i lock the door? why did you lock the door? SOMEone LOCKED the DOOR. the show will begin in three minutes ::manic grin:: birthday time is here... ::sings:: have yourself a merry little birthday... or unbirthday. which is so much more fun. Only you... g'night

what i should be doing: finishing pride and prejudice, writing an essay on it, doing dmp pods, looking for my dmp book, studying chem, chem homework, studying spanish, working on renaissance intro project, reading wasserman.

what i am doing: laughing at my little sister's random chats with people she met online,listening to music, checking people's blogs, looking for pictures of ashland (like the ones on the sidebar?), plotting to go to oregon, thinking about formal.

what i have been doing: all of the above plus trying not to think about something. oh, and talking to t0ni. a lot. then again, when do i not.