no more lies

just my luck, huh? the gossip are back in town on the seventeenth. the seventeenth is when no exit is performing. agh. i want to kill someone. damn scheduling.

and then they're in santa cruz on a weeknight during finals, which is also fair country tech week.

some god is out to get me.

every day

i will not die.

i will not die.

i will not die.

i will not die.

ugh.

young girls

am i too clingy?

if

if all you'd ever seen of me was my blog
what's one word you'd use to describe me?

never been to prison

under my pictureperfect tootight navyblue dickies are once-black converse so old they do very little to hold out much of anything. i have a mohawk and a cell phone and a girlfriend and a wallet chain and a prep school education and a beatup tie dyed duct taped backpack.

i feel strange to say the least.

when i think i've straightened out something will always happen. but this time i am resisiting temptation. sorry, scho. for once in my life i will be faithful.

so far this is the best i've had. i don't intend to screw it up yet.

there are so many people. so many people things could happen with. so many they do happen with. and i have no idea how any of the rest of them see it. i have notes and comments and conversations and flirtations and kisses but not enough to put together a picture.

or maybe i'm just thick.

mirror fucking image of no control

i forgot what it felt like to wear tight pants and white shirts and pay attention to characters in spanish stories and the potential energy of ball bearings. i miss break already.

that was my heart.

write. i'm writing. i'm writing a story.

you can't hide behind social graces.

two little girls grown out of their training bras.

two girls together just a little less alone.

where is my mind?

maybe someday i'll write a story not inspired by music and my life. but now is not the time. i live in a dreamstoryworld.

that sadly involves hamlets singing brown eyed girl and a musical version of titus andronicus.

my brain needs help.

oompaloompa.

emmalinda liked me.

how do i get myself into things?

dont answer that...

i want to dance twirl spin out of control but still in control watching the world go by beyond my pointe shoes.

i can't reconcile the different sides of me.

and my least favorite is prep school iris.

how did i get myself into this?