i think our group of friends (espcially the ones present on new years) officially has a song:


I love my friends, and they love me,
We're just as close as we can be.
And just because we really care,
Whatever we get, we share!

I got it from Agnes,
She got it from Jim.
We all agree it must have been
Louise who gave it to him.

She got it from Harry,
Who got it from Marie,
And everybody knows that Marie
Got it from me.

Giles got it from Daphne,
She got it from Joan,
Who picked it up in County Cork,
A-kissin' the Blarney Stone.

Pierre gave it to Sheila,
Who must have brought it there.
He got it from Francois and Jacques,
Haha, Lucky Pierre!

Max got it from Edith,
Who gets it every spring.
She got it from her Daddy,
Who just gives her everything.

She then gave it to Daniel,
Whose spaniel has it now.
Our dentist even got it,
And we're still wondering how.

Ah, but I got it from Agnes,
Or maybe it was Sue,
Or Millie or Billie or Gillie or Willie,
It doesn't matter who.

It might have been at the club,
Or at the pub, or in the loo,
And if you will be my friend,
Then I might...(Mind you, I said "might")...
Give it to you!

--tom lehrer, 'i got it from agnes'

seems rather fitting.

i just spent a long time in the kitchen making spice cake and caramel icing. it smells so good and it looks kinda pretty even though i'm not great with frosting. my fingers are sticky with icing (which i know tastes good) and i have a huge grin on my face. hurrah. i don't spend nearly enough time in the kitchen making stuff.

next project: snickerdoodles.

i had fun looking through my mother's recipe box trying to find things to bake for the party. unfortunately my mother has multiple recipes for chocolate cheesecake which i couldn't make with the existing supplies. that was torture.

but i'm happy all the same. homemade spice cake.

okay, it looks like the party's on even though all my friends appear to have disappeared off the face of the planet ::mumbles incoherently:: and i don't know if caddie's number's changed. but. my house, call/email/sign for the address, 1 to 6, mitchell show after if you want and can find a ride (toni my dad can give you one). my family is unfortunately very broke so i'm afraid i may have to ask you to bring food/pitch in for food runs. jonathan wants someone who can navigate to carpool with him if possible, so go talk to him if you need a ride. yeah.

i have a small bag of apple jolly ranchers in my bag in the kitchen and i know that several hours ago i took one out and unwrapped it and put it in my mouth but i have no recollection whatsoever of eating it.

i'm going to try to have a party on saturday, some time, my house. anyone i know is invited, just call me or something. don't know for sure whether i can pull this off but i'm trying. spread the word and start looking for rides.

i've seen fire and i've seen rain
i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end
i've seen lonely times when i could not find a friend
but i always thought that i'd see you again
--james taylor, 'fire and rain'

today has been a good day. my mother woke up at one am to find me still awake, composing an email to autry (which i haven't sent) and sent me to bed. she then woke me up at eight to pick up in front of the housekeepers, after which i went back to bed and woke up again at one pm. hurrah hurrah. went out and did errands in town with mum and got a good sandwich at eric's delicafe and a cup of chai at starbucks (the only coffee place close to where we were) and it was beautiful and sunny and cloudy and gloomy and generally bipolar like that and we drove along listening to allette brooks and drinking chai and the sun kept breaking through. and we went to goodwill and i spent fifteen bucks on these kickass black boots i found that fit good ol bigfoot me perfectly. they make me taller than my mother. i've been listening to music onmy computer and i love how it will play 'gravel' by ani difranco and then jump straight to 'love me do' by the beatles. i gave my sister another nausicaa pronunciation lesson (she's getting better) and then discovered she didn't know where nausicaa came from. so of course i had to go get my copy of the odyssey from my room and read her most of book six. i hadn't read the odyssey since last year and it made me so happy, the familiar verse rolling off my tongue as i told the story of odysseus and nausicaa. yay. i'm sitting here grinning like an idiot wearing my new (to me) boots listening to my sister practice saying 'nausicaa' and allette brooks is playing on my computer. 'ladder,' which i love. 'bring me a ladder,' she said finally. 'i am so angry and scared and i just don't understand who i am...'

i'm not going to lie. i had high hopes for getting a bit of snogging in this trip because we brought my hot eighteen-year-old neighbor...only it hasn't happened. grr. i've known her for ten years and we're really close, close enough i wouldn't screw anything up only it turns out she doesn't really think she's bi and has to keep mentioning she wouldn't go farther than 'playing around' with a girl and even that's not happening. ::sigh::. i guess i'm just a bit snog-deprived.

i always forget how much i love this town. i've been coming here since before i could walk. these are the trails i learned to ski on. i know everyone in town and everything is walking distance from the condo. i always complain about being dragged up here, but then i get here and never want to leave. there's music on the stereo and food in the fridge and snow drifted up against the windows and i know if i put on shoes and walk for five minutes i get to the village, home of the general store (which is called just that) and the headwaters cafe and an awesome store and i know the owners of all pof these places. i guess i just like being a local in a tourist town, one of the constant faces among all those that pass through.

i'm thinking about maybe getting a job up here this summer. last summer when jodie taught me how to repair bikes he said if i had some free time i might be able to work in the shop and i'd love to do that. i don't knwo how it would go over with my parents, especially since they next portland, but this town is about a million times safer than portland. readin the police blotter every month is hilarious up here. one month, for example, the most exciting thing that happened was someone calling 911 to see what time the laundromat opens. eh well i can always hope, even if i'm hoping in vain.

never mind. it's working now. hurrah. life is good.

dammit the images on my template are screwed up. grrrrrrrr. i just spent an hour finding spiffy pictures and putting them on and now they're NOT THERE.

nobody's tried to guess crush/noncrush songs...oh well. they are, in no particular order and with no indication as to who's a crush and who's not: 'bridge over troubled water' is toni, 'fnt' is caddie, 'chained to you' is hannah, 'never saw blue like that' is carey, 'devil's dance floor' and 'ring of fire' are pat, 'loom' is emmalinda, 'shameless' is autry, and 'i believe i can fly' is alan (har har). i can't believe i ever dated that boy. i think i've come a long way since then...or at least i hope i have. he's gotten even skinnier and paler and is growing gross facial hair and dating mary-irene lang. yergh. i officially have never had anything to do with him.

(unrelated to the above) last night i was talking to tara and realized how much of what's happened this schoolyear i wish i could change, but at the same time i don't know if i actually would because maybe if things this year had happened differently i'd be an entirely different person and i'm actually finally getting comfortable with who i am. ::sigh::. i don't know what i'd do if i had everything to do over. maybe not make quite as much of a fool of myself over some things. fortunately most of the stuff that got screwed up has fixed itself. being able to talk to certain people again makes me insanely happy. i knew it would happen eventually but sometimes it felt like it never would and that made me sad cuz you're cool. anyway...i can't think of anything else to say except i miss you guys and we need to get together this week and i'll rescue jessie from eternal boredom and kat kicks ass. yay! (i have a note to give you when we get back.)

BOINK!