walking in the rain

i really wish it would rain.

toni kidnapped me to come film something at paly during seventh period and break today and i realized how much better i fit in there. they're all going through things i'm going through, they see the world more or less teh way i see it. niki and i are back on good terms, i can goof off with everyone, and i know them. pretty well in some cases. they seem to be happy enough to see me...and i miss toni so much. i wish...i wish i had off-campus privileges so i could get out of the bubble every so often without worrying about getting busted. not that nto having them stops me. it just makes me ever so slightly more reluctant. but all you paly people, if you have wednesday/friday mornings or thursday afternoons off, let me know. i need to get off the circle for a while.

that being said, when i got back here i had fun with my spanish class. doña wasn't here so brittany and kristin and i did the silly puzzles on the back of alix's lucky charms box. and i realized how genuinely nice most people here are, even if we don't have that much in common. why do they even bother to notice me? they never used to...but somethings's been changing since sometime last year, this slow acknowledgement of my presence, a respect for what i have to say. i have to admit it's nice.

but i still don't feel like i belong here.