if my life were a monty python sketch

me: i didn't expect insanity.
insanity: nobody expects insanity! my chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear...
me: oh just bigger off already. my sanity's just resting.
insanity: it's deceased! bereft of life! gone to meet its maker!
me: didn't i tell you to bugger off?
insanity: so, how's your girlfriend? nudge nidge wink wink say no more...
me. we broke up. just go away already.
insanity: 'fraid i can't do that. you'll have to fill out form 401c first, and then it'll take about a week to get the repairman 'round...
me: what am i, a bloody appliance?!
insanity: ...or i could just have you kill yourself, that would get them 'round in no time...
me: JUST FUCKING BUGGER OFF!!
announcer: and now for something completely different: a man with three buttocks.