dancing with myself

why do i feel so alone? it has something to do with being so cut off from the world, with feeling so trapped inside myself that i'm surprised when people notice me. i know i'm not alone. but i live my own life so much, completely unreachable. and i hate my voice. i hate the way it sounds, the stupid things i say. why am i so incoherent?

i think i've given up on explaining most of what goes on inside me. even i don't understand it.but i really want to...i want to know why i feel the way i do, why i leave gaps between me and other people, why i have such a skewed perception of how i interact with the world.

i also think my brain's strung out on caffeine and/or lack of sleep.

which makes very little sense considering how much i've been sleeping. but i never wake up feeling like i've slept.