needles and pins

i realized last night that i belong downtown. i felt more at home than i have in weeks. for once i didn't feel strung out or overworked or stressed at all and somehow communicating with the whole downtown crowd is easier than communicating with anyone else.

the rut i'm stuck in is school, which is why i need to get back downtown. i remember now why downtown makes me feel so good.

toni and spencer and erica and i walked to borders where spencer and i dragged toni over into the erotica section...she was bright red...it was really funny...and then we laughed at all the children's books and they ran off while erica and i sat there and talked and laughed in the middle of the children's books.

after we left we ran into nick and this other kid, talked to them, and gabe and japhy were bucket drumming so we hunug around there for a while. i love those guys. then erica realized she was running late so she and i sprinted back to lytton plaza laughng, both of us happier than we'd been in a long time, and apologized to her father. she left, and then everyone else showed up back at the plaza. gabe wandered over and put his arms around me cuz hey, we're a touchy crowd, and said so, what's up? more or less into the back of my shoulder (i think he's shorter than me) and i said i broke up with niki and he kinda laughed and said and found another girl and i said yeah...er...so i found her before i broke up with niki...whatever...and he laughed. gabe is awesomely cool and stuff. and japhy too. japhy has dreads and is awesome. and lee shaved her head but i didn't really get to see her cuz toni and i had to get spencer home by his curfew so we walked the few blocks to his house and then toni and spencer started kissing and i was just like hum de dum, this is really silly...oh and on teh way over toni and i were joking around about all the times i've embarrassed her by making out in front of her and stuff like that...but anyway then toni's dad showed up and dodged cops all through downtown and i got one glimpse of the back of lee's bald head and i really really wanted to actually see her cuz it had been way to long and i want to see her with no hair but we had to get home.

and here i am.

actually pretty happy.

conclusion: erica + downtown = happy.