missing pieces

it's over.

my mother said something yesterday about how i've been so much happier since i decided i was gay. um? hello, mother, you are obviously entirely and completely out of touch wth my life. sure i was depressed in middle school, but since freshman year i have gotten more fucked up than you will ever know. you don't know about the cutting, about what goes on inside my head.

but hey, i guess it's kinda funny that she's that clueless.

i want something to be easy for once. something that i don't have to think about and overanalyze and wonder about for months and months and months.

if i don't talk to you anymore, do you still miss me?

cuz chances are i still miss you.

i'm losing touch with people, losing touch with the world. i'm spinning out over really stupid things, failing to do my homework, staying grounded only because i have to for my life to keep going.

what would happen if i just gave up?