i survived.

this morning...was awesome. woke up somewhere around 4:30, carey picked up me and toni and erica from toni's house and we drove around and got kat and cads and tamar and jessie carr (there are too many jessies now) and drove out to the duckpond, which was technically closed, to watch the sunrise. um...we never did see teh sun rise, but we blasted music and sat on a bench talking about cows and orgasms and chickens and miep and esme and toni did her cecelia jig and we made random chords...it was so beautiful.

and then we thought someone was coming so we ran back to the car and spent a while getting all the seats in place and then went to my dad's apartment so i could find my stoopid sailor outfit, and then the cafe for breakfats...and it wasn't even eight am. days are so much longer if you get up early.

which doesn't mean i'm going to start doing that.

i miss you.

you've got me spinning round and round, turning upside down...

i feel sick. stupid body, get your ass in gear. i've been sick for almost two months! but i don't think i'm really sick any more, i think my body doesn't want to eat and is protesting because i eat any way. dammit, my body is not supposed to rebel and develop its own eating disorders.

my life should kick arse. it will. maybe i'll be working at douce france with pierrick this summer.

and this sixteen-year-old french chick named lucille might be spending part of the summer with me. kick arse.

i will have a job, a life, friends, maybe a trip to visit autry, maybe a visit from her...

do NOT want to have to change into my sailor suit and sit for a long time outside while they hand out awards. class day is a stupid tradition that should be killed. i just want to be freeeeeeeeeeeee already.

but life is okay. i think.

i'm such a fucking ray of sushine, huh?