it's a gorgeous day outside. after school (after uploading caitlin's template) i took off my boots and socks and jacket and climbed up into the trea and sat there for a very long time, just staring at the sky. i can't be pessimistic today, except for the slight nagging worry that i'm going to end up spending the night here. damn wallet that jumped out of my backpack at home...i am now broke and without a train pass (it's at home) and my mother told my father that i was going home tonight which effectively canceled my ride...otherwise i could have gotten along. urgh. how my mother thought i was getting home without said train pass i don't know...the real problem is that my father is impossible to get in touch with. i can never tell when he has or hasn't gotten a message. so maybe he'll show up, maybe he won't. fuck.