killer chicken

a story told alternately by amee and iris

me: baKAWK!
amee: aahh!! *runs away in terror*
me: ATTACK OF THE EVIL CHICKEN!
amee: *cowers in fear*
me: hahahaHA
amee: *trembling* where did it go? is it going to kill me? *eyes dart around frantically*
me: baKAWK!
amee: aahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: muahahahahahahahaha

amee attempts to kill chicken. can't because it is amee, and she loves animals. hires hit men to kill chicken for her.

me: noooo. it's not evil. just...misunderstood!
amee: yes, it just needs therapy. massive therapy
me: ohhh yes

hit men take chicken to therapist. chicken pokes out therapist's eyes and then pecks therapist to death. proceeds to kill hit men. hit man # 1 escapes. hit man # 2 dies. hit man # 3....who knows what happened? They only found a leg...

chicken then runs really fast and launches self into orbit. # 1 flies after chicken. they land on jupiter. chicken is a fire-breathing chicken! #1 is now a very crispy #1. # 4 has now arrived. chicken befroends #4. together they take over jupiter. all of a sudden they realize that Jupiter is a gas planet and decide to take over io instead. they skip over to io. # 4 plots to kill chicken but then realizes there is no liquid water on io and without chicken to melt water, #4 will die. they move on to pluto. which is so cold #4 freezes to death. # 5 FINALLY arrives with a guillotine. pluto is *still* cold and he freezes. a chicken named fred arrives on pluto.

the interstellar chicken flies off and is never heard from again. fred follows. fred and nameless fall madly in love and they live happily ever after on a small planet near betelgeuse until #s 6, 7, 8, and 9 catch up with them. fred and nameless decide this killing of hit men is silly and decide to keep them as pets

# 9 falls madly in love with fred. nameless gets jealous. he also wants a sex slave. fortunately, #8 is there. # 6 and 7 are now jealous. they have always wanted to fuck a chicken. they approach nameless about it and she decrees the planet one big orgiastic commune.

THE END