at this point i really just want to crawl in a hole and die and not care about failing. but here i am, forcing myself to care, forcing myself to write this stupid essay that i never cared about in the first place, losing sleep over things that in the long run don't matter. i don't want my entire life to be school. it's just not worth it.

but it's also not worth flunking.

and i do not have the creative capacity to make up my own essay topic for a book i didn't like very much. so what to do now?