in my head

I'm waiting for winter, it always seems warmer somehow.
It's the sun on the snowfall and the silence I am longing for now.
But with one backward glance, I won't stand a chance,
So I'll wave goodbye over my shoulder.
Yeah who am I fooling?
Some things you just don't get over.

This inability to figure out what I want and what I should do about it is killing me.